The bucket list | Soul Healing in Hawaii


Dreams seem to be something many of us lose as an adult. We trade reaching for the stars for practicality because those stars seem so far away. There are many types of people in this world, and that creates diversity and interest. Some of us are dreamers. Some of us are damned to wander this Earth feeling things infinitely more than others, and we constantly carry the weight of neglected emotions and forgotten dreams.

I’ve been told my best and worst qualities as a human are simultaneously the same – that I wear my heart on my sleeve. It’s magnetic but also quite a vulnerable position to place myself in. Practicality says hide that heart, the world only wants to snuff out the light. However, to be the best and most authentic me I can’t. My heart must always be forward, and this is reflected in the way I choose to live my life, the way I run my business, the way I parent, and the way I love. When my heart was hurting to know who I really was, I created this bucket list. In 2011 I was not a person but rather a doormat to the needs of everyone else. To combat that and to take back my autonomy I filled out a bucket list with things I could only dream of. Through hard work, perseverance, and a whole fuck ton of heart I’ve been knocking things off this list.

Most recently, I made a huge dream come true. I travelled to my “must see before I die” destination… Hawaii. For some, this may seem silly and like an easy-to-achieve dream destination. For me, it has not been. I wasn’t sure it would ever happen. I waited for the right people. I waited for the right time. I waited to have the right income and the right position in life. And, if I continued that pattern, I might still be waiting. At the end of 2018, I said screw it. I set a goal for number of weddings I wanted to book, and if I booked that number by the end of the year I would go.

By the end of THAT week I had achieved my goal. The universe spoke, and I listened. I booked my ticket, with a major flub from Delta in charging me twice … (Thanks, retrograde) Regardless, I made it happen. I went. I went alone, but I never feel alone. I was whole and happy, and my dream came true. This “alone” vacation is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. If you ever feel the pull, the magnetism, the draw… follow it. Follow your heart. You won’t regret what it takes to get you there.

And here, friends, are some pieces of the once in a lifetime adventure that changed my life. I transformed on this island. Where I had lost hope in love, love returned… it came again. It showed up just when I needed it. For that, I will be forever grateful and forever in debt.